i may or may not be watching the land before time
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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