Already got asked if we're dating
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
