God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
