Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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