omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
