I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
