Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
