Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
