It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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