didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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