oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize