and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
