I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
