Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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