he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
