So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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