speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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