i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
