I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
