At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
