the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
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