i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
