I'm going to jail i love you
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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