you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
