there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
