he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
