it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
