Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Sponge bath it is.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
