Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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