Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
love makes seman taste better
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
