i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
