i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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