I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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