i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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