what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize