I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
