I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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