I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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