you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
