are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
