If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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