so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you had me at cake vodka
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
