just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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