I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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