She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
