It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
