Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
