how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
