You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
