I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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