Moan for me like Helen Keller
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
