I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
