So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
