You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
