My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
