Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize