Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize