I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize