it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
