so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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