Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
