we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
