My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
