I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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