I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
