Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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