last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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