When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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