I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
