Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
