i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
