I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pooping to opera.
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