No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
