it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
