you win again, gameday.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize