I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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