the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
