I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think people are normalizing furries
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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