I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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