True but thats because hes a fetus.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
