smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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