Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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