I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
