he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
