is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
